Crockens

Crockens are a chimera species that combine the finger-licking deliciousness of a chicken with the fox-proof snout of a crocodile. The thing that makes them immune to fox-attack also makes them considerably more difficult to farm. Farmers got pushed into using them by Crocsanto - a multi-billion pund organisation that likes to play god - largely because you can't trademark nature.

Artwork by Zuza Gruzlewska

By all accounts, the crocken experiment was a hideous failure. Crocsanto argued:

"We didn't spend millions of punds developing these freaks of nature just to be told no by a bunch of dirty, radish-smelling farmers. Feel free to reject us, but know that if you won't breed our monster birds, we will crush you; we will crush your children, and we will crush your children's children! In addition, we will spread a rumour that you love goats. DO NOT CROSS US ON THIS!"

The farmers countered by saying:

"We're very sorry to have upset you. Could you please ask your lawyer to stop biting my leg now?"

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Crocken Facts

• Crocsanto have bred many other crocodile chimeras - crocken are just the most widely known. The company's slogan is: 'If it breathes, we can crocodile it'.
• Crocken go: "COCK-A-DOODLE-SNAP!"
• A group of crocken are collectively known as a 'bad investment'.
• It probably goes with out saying, but a male crocken is called a crockerel.

Creation Notes

I can't remember how or why I came up with these, but the idea of making things crocodiles amused me, which led to Crocsanto - a Frankenstein-esque company that indulges its founders strange obsession with crocodilising everything.

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